It was interesting when I discovered I was a control freak, because I had thought I really relied on God for everything. But I found out I only relied on God for what was easy for me to believe Him for. So was that really relying on Him at all? Since I was so much in denial it took quite a bit of what was precious to me to realize how deeply I was co-dependent. Anyone who knew me knew my children were my world. I would do anything for them. Their success was my success and there was the problem. I never wanted to live all my unfulfilled dreams through my kids, but what I did was worse. I expected them to make me look good to the world around me. Being a Christian, I thought my motivation was for their own good, do this, don’t do that and don’t do that or that. And then my world started to spin and spin. It was so fitting that I was Mommystrong at the same time I began Celebrate Recovery, little did I know that Mommystrong would assist in my recovery of co-dependence as well. It gave me strength to face reality and courage to change. Through it all I lost weight, body fat and having to please other people. I was expecting my children to make me look good and I have repented to them and asked for their forgiveness. I now realized and rejoice because my identity, my TRUE identity is in Christ and Him alone. He accepts me where I am at, but He loves me enough to surround me with others (in this group) who will not allow me to stay where I am at.
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